Whip Jokes

Whip Jokes

For anyone that's thinking about using a whip as part of a routine for a show, having some good jokes is essential.

Quick Jokes

• Ancient man believed that the crack of a whip would scare away evil spirits. Maybe that's why I haven't seen my ex-wife in a long time

--Adam Winrich

Long Jokes

The Fly

I took a whip cracking lesson once. The first thing my instructor did was to challenge me to hit a fly with a whip. He picked one out, he said, "that one, right there on that stool, hit him."

So I took a deep breath… eyed up my target, checked my distance, gauged the wind, set my stance, uncoiled my whip… and about then I started to get dizzy, so I exhaled and started breathing again… once the dizzy spell passed I cracked my whip, and I have to say, somewhat to my surprise, I actually hit it! I think I may have surprised my instructor too! Fly guts were splattered all over the seat of the stool! I mean it was a mess! A wing here, an eye there, 3 legs over there…

I was feeling a bit cocky after my success so I said, "So, how about you? Can you hit… that fly?" And I pointed to another that was crawling up the leg of the stool. With barely a glance, his whip rolled out and cracked at the fly… and we watched it fly off! I laughed at him "You missed!" I was wondering why am I taking lessons from this guy? He just smirked at me, "you might think I missed, but that fly… will never have any kids."

--adapted from Robert Dante's book "Lets Get Cracking"