Difference between revisions of "Whip Jokes"
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| − | + | ==Whip Jokes== | |
For anyone that's thinking about using a whip as part of a routine for a show, having some good jokes is essential. | For anyone that's thinking about using a whip as part of a routine for a show, having some good jokes is essential. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ===One Liners=== | ||
| + | |||
| + | ===Quick Jokes=== | ||
| + | * Ancient man believed that the crack of a whip would scare away evil spirits. Maybe that's why I haven't seen my ex-wife in a long time | ||
| + | :''--Adam Winrich'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | ===Long Jokes=== | ||
====The Fly==== | ====The Fly==== | ||
| − | I took a whip cracking lesson once. The first thing my instructor did was to challenge me to hit a fly with a whip. He picked one out, he said, "that one, right there on that stool, hit him."<br> | + | I took a whip cracking lesson once. The first thing my instructor did was to challenge me to hit a fly with a whip. He picked one out, he said, "that one, right there on that stool, hit him."<br><br> |
| − | So I took a deep breath… eyed up my target, checked my distance, gauged the wind, set my stance, uncoiled my whip… and about then I started to get dizzy, so I exhaled and started breathing again… once the dizzy spell passed I cracked my whip, and I have to say, somewhat to my surprise, I actually hit it! I think I may have surprised my instructor too! Fly guts were splattered all over the seat of the stool! I mean it was a mess! A wing here, an eye there, 3 legs over there…<br> | + | So I took a deep breath… eyed up my target, checked my distance, gauged the wind, set my stance, uncoiled my whip… and about then I started to get dizzy, so I exhaled and started breathing again… once the dizzy spell passed I cracked my whip, and I have to say, somewhat to my surprise, I actually hit it! I think I may have surprised my instructor too! Fly guts were splattered all over the seat of the stool! I mean it was a mess! A wing here, an eye there, 3 legs over there…<br><br> |
I was feeling a bit cocky after my success so I said, "So, how about you? Can you hit… that fly?" And I pointed to another that was crawling up the leg of the stool. With barely a glance, his whip rolled out and cracked at the fly… and we watched it fly off! I laughed at him "You missed!" I was wondering why am I taking lessons from this guy? He just smirked at me, "you might think I missed, but that fly… will never have any kids."<br> | I was feeling a bit cocky after my success so I said, "So, how about you? Can you hit… that fly?" And I pointed to another that was crawling up the leg of the stool. With barely a glance, his whip rolled out and cracked at the fly… and we watched it fly off! I laughed at him "You missed!" I was wondering why am I taking lessons from this guy? He just smirked at me, "you might think I missed, but that fly… will never have any kids."<br> | ||
| − | + | :''--adapted from Robert Dante's book "Lets Get Cracking"'' | |
Latest revision as of 15:36, 28 August 2022
Whip Jokes
For anyone that's thinking about using a whip as part of a routine for a show, having some good jokes is essential.
One Liners
Quick Jokes
- Ancient man believed that the crack of a whip would scare away evil spirits. Maybe that's why I haven't seen my ex-wife in a long time
- --Adam Winrich
Long Jokes
The Fly
I took a whip cracking lesson once. The first thing my instructor did was to challenge me to hit a fly with a whip. He picked one out, he said, "that one, right there on that stool, hit him."
So I took a deep breath… eyed up my target, checked my distance, gauged the wind, set my stance, uncoiled my whip… and about then I started to get dizzy, so I exhaled and started breathing again… once the dizzy spell passed I cracked my whip, and I have to say, somewhat to my surprise, I actually hit it! I think I may have surprised my instructor too! Fly guts were splattered all over the seat of the stool! I mean it was a mess! A wing here, an eye there, 3 legs over there…
I was feeling a bit cocky after my success so I said, "So, how about you? Can you hit… that fly?" And I pointed to another that was crawling up the leg of the stool. With barely a glance, his whip rolled out and cracked at the fly… and we watched it fly off! I laughed at him "You missed!" I was wondering why am I taking lessons from this guy? He just smirked at me, "you might think I missed, but that fly… will never have any kids."
- --adapted from Robert Dante's book "Lets Get Cracking"
